May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

Rape dreams and release


So I had ‘fending off rape dreams’ this morning, three consecutive ones. Not a big surprise, given how angry I’ve been lately. I tend to have ‘monsters/men are hurting me’ … Continue reading

August 6, 2011 · 2 Comments

Visit with older brother – is the abuser dead yet?


My older brother called me on the weekend and we got together to watch his kid play in a sporting event. All in all it went well. He made an … Continue reading

August 1, 2011 · 1 Comment

Survivor reaction after massage


Predictably, I felt vulnerable and emotional most of the week, after even a simple, tiny amount of compassionate work on my strangulation-surviving neck. It felt like pms. I cried easily … Continue reading

July 14, 2011 · 3 Comments

Massage


I had an interesting experience having a massage today. I had a sore hip due to what my chiropractor says is a tight ‘IT band’. The massage therapist was doing various … Continue reading

July 9, 2011 · 4 Comments

Sociopathy is inherited – choosing not to have children


This weeks post is a result of re-reading some an old comment I made on a website about childbirthing when you are a survivor. I’ve never birthed or raised a … Continue reading

June 26, 2011 · 10 Comments

Eureka – take that, vulvadynia!


Okay, I seem to have it figured out. The yoga is great, but I found something even better. Just becoming aware of how often I clench the muscles of my … Continue reading

April 24, 2011 · 4 Comments

Free your vulva and the rest will follow.


In my meditation walk, I suddenly had a flash that my new motto was “Free your vulva and the rest will follow”.

February 26, 2011 · 6 Comments

Memories of childhood sexual assault – why are they different? how can we trust them?


One of the most difficult things about suviving childhood sexual assault is coping with the fragmented and taboo nature of our memories. This breaks down into three main issues: Memories … Continue reading

February 6, 2011 · 30 Comments

What I learned about child sexual abuse survivors and sex and relationships


Here’s a post from a place where I don’t feel like I’ve gotten a handle on all of the post-traumatic symptoms, although I have come a long way. Stages of … Continue reading

January 11, 2011 · 15 Comments

What I Learned about Grounding and Sexual Abuse Survivors


I thought I’d write a bit about some of the healing things I’ve learned in 22 years of clawing back the effects of being raped as a child from my … Continue reading

December 28, 2010 · 10 Comments

Expanding, letting life in


He really did rape me. He really did. He really did rape me. Over and over that’s all I think, suddenly. I say it out loud, to feel my own … Continue reading

July 1, 2010 · 3 Comments

Post therapy


Well, it’s been a couple of weeks now since my last therapy session I think. I’m choosing to spend time on the present day goals I have, improving my singing, … Continue reading

June 23, 2010 · 8 Comments

Massage


I just had an hour long massage at a spa. Steam room, cucumber water, soft music, the whole bit. I decided to spend the money I’d been spending on therapy … Continue reading

June 15, 2010 · Leave a comment

A picture is worth…


I got my wife to take a picture of my vulva so I could see what I’m dealing with. A mirror is quite an awkward way to see one’s vulva … Continue reading

June 6, 2010 · Leave a comment

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