May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

New Year – Releasing, Banishing and Blessing


Yesterday I did a ritual of blessing and letting go with one of my friends. We both practice the same religion but hadn’t done any ceremony together before. It was … Continue reading

December 31, 2013 · 2 Comments

Dating your parents (no not literally, thankfully!)


I subscribe to the theory that what we are attracted to in a mate is often a reflection of both the ways we’ve learned to accept love as children and … Continue reading

October 21, 2013 · 6 Comments

Bravery and Vulnerability


I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s recent book “Daring Greatly”. Most of the information is stuff I already know, but it’s good to review and there were some new bits. I … Continue reading

December 14, 2012 · 5 Comments

Burning the Journals


I just got back from a camping trip with my wife. With her support, I burned several boxes of old journals, dating back from my childhood through the present. It … Continue reading

August 28, 2012 · 11 Comments

Another disappointing response from a relative


I had my aunt visit recently, the one who was also assaulted by my father. When I visited her a couple of years ago, she was very accepting of what … Continue reading

August 20, 2012 · 14 Comments

Grief and Fierce Self-Love


So, things are still rough with my wife. I was at a practice for the choir I sing with and during the vocal warm up for freaking sake I started … Continue reading

December 20, 2011 · 8 Comments

Piano lessons and a gift of compassion


I’ve been taking piano lessons. I’ve got a great teacher and I’m enjoying it.  As I’ve written about before, I have a hard time learning to play musical instruments, despite … Continue reading

December 9, 2011 · Leave a comment

Ethical Polyamory


Okay, I know this is a blog about later recovery from sexual abuse, and specifically waiting for my abuser to die so I can dance on his grave,  so what … Continue reading

November 27, 2011 · 7 Comments

Inheriting Evil


I was left a very thoughtful comment today in response to my post about why I’m not going to have children because my father is a sociopath. In Balbrouchan’s comment, … Continue reading

August 6, 2011 · 5 Comments

Rape dreams and release


So I had ‘fending off rape dreams’ this morning, three consecutive ones. Not a big surprise, given how angry I’ve been lately. I tend to have ‘monsters/men are hurting me’ … Continue reading

August 6, 2011 · 2 Comments

PTSD Spaciness triggered waiting for letter from mom


So I’ve been extra spacey lately since the news about the impending letter from my mom replying to the one I sent her three years ago. It’s not like I … Continue reading

August 5, 2011 · 8 Comments

Visit with older brother – is the abuser dead yet?


My older brother called me on the weekend and we got together to watch his kid play in a sporting event. All in all it went well. He made an … Continue reading

August 1, 2011 · 1 Comment

Survivor reaction after massage


Predictably, I felt vulnerable and emotional most of the week, after even a simple, tiny amount of compassionate work on my strangulation-surviving neck. It felt like pms. I cried easily … Continue reading

July 14, 2011 · 3 Comments

Massage


I had an interesting experience having a massage today. I had a sore hip due to what my chiropractor says is a tight ‘IT band’. The massage therapist was doing various … Continue reading

July 9, 2011 · 4 Comments

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