May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

UPDATED My book – It Gets Better: What I learned from 20 years of healing childhood rape


So here it is, my book draft. The working title is “It Gets Better: What I learned from 20 years of healing childhood rape” I was sharing it as a … Continue reading

February 20, 2015 · 12 Comments

Coming out as a survivor part 3 – Intimate Relationships with Bystanders and Civilians


The story I wrote about in my last post, where I’d come out to a potential lover as having an injured vagina and she’d reacted in an odd way, has … Continue reading

February 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Coming Out as a Survivor Part 2 – Friends and Lovers


In my previous post on this topic, I covered coming out to yourself, your therapist and your support or therapy community. The final two really difficult steps are coming out … Continue reading

February 10, 2014 · 1 Comment

What I’ve learned about coming out as an incest survivor (part 1)


I’m trying to write a chapter on coming out as an incest or child sexual assault survivor for the book. There are a lot of reasons to come out, and … Continue reading

January 7, 2014 · 7 Comments

Holidays for Incest Survivors


Tonight is Christmas Eve. I am grateful to be spending it with my spouse and  my dog, in a warm, safe house full of light and love. I am happy. … Continue reading

December 24, 2013 · 9 Comments

Rules of kvetching: applied to CSA survivors


My neck has been particularly seized up since I found out about the appointment with the gynecologist. Coincidence? Not likely. Since the assault that caused the tearing in my vagina … Continue reading

April 14, 2013 · 12 Comments

Managing Cortisol Levels for People with Complex PTSD


One of the problems with having been in a chronic state of fear and anxiety for years and years while surviving the abuse, and then while healing from it, is … Continue reading

January 18, 2012 · 2 Comments

Goddess bless yoga – self care for survivors with vaginal injury


Remember when I wrote that I’d read that vulvadynia was related to constriction of blood flow in the pelvis? That makes sense to me as a survivor and I’ve been … Continue reading

April 4, 2011 · 12 Comments

Primer for Partners of Sexual Abuse Survivors


Unlike my other posts, this isn’t written for survivors, but for their partners. Okay, I lied, it’s really written for survivors to give to their partners, and has both answers … Continue reading

March 13, 2011 · 59 Comments

Sexual Orientation and Sexual Abuse


This post is in response to the idea that some people have about the causes of people falling in love with someone of the same sex. Many of you will … Continue reading

March 2, 2011 · 5 Comments

Memories of childhood sexual assault – why are they different? how can we trust them?


One of the most difficult things about suviving childhood sexual assault is coping with the fragmented and taboo nature of our memories. This breaks down into three main issues: Memories … Continue reading

February 6, 2011 · 30 Comments

What I learned about faith and child sexual abuse


My adult spirituality developed in first or second year university. I was taking a philosophy of religion course, up to my neck in flashbacks and attending 12 step meetings of … Continue reading

January 30, 2011 · 4 Comments

What I learned about child sexual abuse and forgiveness.


Here’s what I have learned in 25 years of healing,  about the topic of forgiveness as relates to survivors of childhood sexual assault by a family member or other sexual … Continue reading

January 21, 2011 · 32 Comments

What I learned about anxiety – for child sexual abuse survivors


Feel whatever is there in a safe place The first time I remember not being anxious was after a 12 step meeting. My shoulders were relaxed. This had never happened … Continue reading

January 19, 2011 · 11 Comments

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