May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

Love is not a prize


I am whole I am holy I was born from pain, raised in pain but I overcame I deserve all the love this world can offer I deserve a beautiful … Continue reading

September 2, 2015 · 3 Comments

Help for Partners of Childhood Sexual Assault Survivors


I had a comment just now asking for resources for partners. I am a survivor and have been involved with women who are survivors. I think that most of this … Continue reading

February 27, 2014 · 5 Comments

Coming out as a survivor part 3 – Intimate Relationships with Bystanders and Civilians


The story I wrote about in my last post, where I’d come out to a potential lover as having an injured vagina and she’d reacted in an odd way, has … Continue reading

February 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Coming Out as a Survivor Part 2 – Friends and Lovers


In my previous post on this topic, I covered coming out to yourself, your therapist and your support or therapy community. The final two really difficult steps are coming out … Continue reading

February 10, 2014 · 1 Comment

New Year Resolution


So last Saturday I saw my ex girlfriend (Kitten) and her new girlfriend at the bar. It was no big deal. For those who don’t know the back story, she … Continue reading

January 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

New Year – Releasing, Banishing and Blessing


Yesterday I did a ritual of blessing and letting go with one of my friends. We both practice the same religion but hadn’t done any ceremony together before. It was … Continue reading

December 31, 2013 · 2 Comments

Dating your parents (no not literally, thankfully!)


I subscribe to the theory that what we are attracted to in a mate is often a reflection of both the ways we’ve learned to accept love as children and … Continue reading

October 21, 2013 · 6 Comments

Herne’s blessings – vulva healing and sexuality


Surprize! Getting the inflammation in my vulva down to a dull roar did not instantly fix my sex life. Surprize! Struggling while trying to restore my vulva to the state … Continue reading

July 2, 2013 · 5 Comments

What not to say to survivors of childhood sexual assault…


Do you have a friend, relative or lover who survived childhood sexual assault? Here’s 6 of the top 10 things not to say or do. 1) Breaking the kvetching order  … Continue reading

May 14, 2013 · 34 Comments

Awesome Sexuality after surviving the worst


I remember despairing of ever having a decent sex life, of ever actually wanting sex, of finding people who wanted me and would be good to me, with whom I … Continue reading

May 13, 2013 · 4 Comments

Rules of kvetching: applied to CSA survivors


My neck has been particularly seized up since I found out about the appointment with the gynecologist. Coincidence? Not likely. Since the assault that caused the tearing in my vagina … Continue reading

April 14, 2013 · 12 Comments

Unveiling


One of the things that is complicated about the polyamory community is our strange inability to talk about our love lives, since everyone we know that is poly is likely … Continue reading

October 1, 2012 · Leave a comment

Ordinary Grief


Well, my new relationship is now over. She broke up with me about a week ago, by email, after spending a lovely day together. That was hard. Some people need … Continue reading

May 28, 2012 · 10 Comments

Missing the Freakin Point! Same-Sex Boundaries and Sexual Abuse Survivors


Apparently, at a recent Pantheacon, there was a scuffle between trans activists and women who want to have a women’s skyclad (nude) ritual without penises and testicles. The theoretical  penis … Continue reading

February 29, 2012 · 20 Comments

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