May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

Writing a book

At the encouragement of one of my friends, I’m working on a book about sexual abuse recovery, based on the writing I’ve done here in the past two years. I’m working on the draft today, organizing the content and writing the introduction.

What I’m thinking about is that a lot of us learn by watching how another person does things, and a good story is a nice way to organize things, but on the other hand, sometimes its easiest to go directly to the sections that apply and so I’m trying to figure out if it’s better to organize the book roughly chronologcally, or by topic. What do you think?

I think the story of waiting for my father to die so I can dance on his grave, deciding to divorce my mother and then discovering my scars is an interesting thread to weave through it, but I’m wondering if I should extend the story back in time, in order to have some context for what I’ve learned about healing flashbacks and piecing together memory.

The blog format is so much looser than a book, and I don’t have to think about where things go other than to categorize them. I’m open to suggestions…

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9 comments on “Writing a book

  1. butterflysblog
    February 14, 2011

    What a wonderful idea!!! What a beautiful way to help other survivors out there. I was originally drawn to this blog by the concept of you planning out this dance on his grave. The idea is just so intriguing to me, so powerful. I wish we could all take back our power like that, the way we do on one night of the year (Take Back the Night), you know?

  2. kate1975
    February 14, 2011

    Hi SDW,

    Your book will be great and help so many other survivors. You have a strong voice for healing and for survivors. We all need to see that in others. It is so healing.

    I would suggest some background and then starting at the point of the sword dancing concept and blogging about it. A healing book by a survivor often goes chronologically. That sounds good, but I also think that you could do specific topics of healing in specific chapters. After all there were days or weeks or months that you focused more on one or another issue in healing.

    I look forward to the day when you can dance on his grave.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    • sworddancewarrior
      February 14, 2011

      Hi Kate,
      Thanks Kate. I’d really welcome you and Butterfly and some others reading my draft when it’s ready and giving me some feedback. Thanks for the format suggestion. I think I will start with the idea that this is a book by and for survivors who are later on in their recovery, and so I might as well start at the ‘waiting to dance on their grave’ stage. I’m going to try and have a credible mix of story and healing topics.

      Good and healing thoughts to you,
      SDW

      • kate1975
        February 14, 2011

        Hi SDW,

        That sounds great. I know you are a really good writer and will find the right balance. I would love to give you some feedback. Let me know when you are at that stage. Good and healing thoughts to you.

        Kate

  3. Lyndel Caffrey
    May 20, 2011

    Hi SwordDanceWarrior,

    I just stumbled onto your blog last week at the time I really most needed the strong mix of personal experience and practical, accurate information that you provide. I’m a writer and I also mentor a lot of writers and the first thing that struck me from my writing perspective was how well your posts are written and structured. In fact I was starting to assume you’d written a book already until I read this post. Without a doubt you should write this book, I really don’t think you would have trouble finding a publisher if it is as well structured and coherent and compelling as your blog.

    I don’t know what the publishing scene is like in America (I’m in Australia) but over here you would not have to write the whole manuscript for a non fiction book like this before securing a publisher. A strong chapter outline, project proposal and 3-5 really strong chapters would get it for you. They would want to meet you to satisfy their personal judgement that you individually could then complete the book, but really I think they would only have to spend some time on your blog to work that out.

    Most survivors who publish books on their abuse are writing memoirs, then there are the academics or social workers or psychologists writing the learned titles or self help books… you as a survivor writing on this subject are working from a perspective which I think is much rarer. You tick all the boxes and so have so much to offer.

    Thanks again for the knowledge and insight you share on the blog.

    Lyndel

  4. Janey
    June 5, 2011

    Hi Sworddance warrior I was just wanting to connect and hope you are going well on the bookwriting front. I would love to hear how you are going in that process cheers Janey.
    You maybe interested in a site for transformational writers I have been listening too I will look it up and get back with it.

    • sworddancewarrior
      June 5, 2011

      I haven’t written this weekend, but the book is still simmering. Yes, the site sounds interesting. Mostly writing for me is a question of getting enough time to myself to fill up the well. How’s it going?

  5. Janey
    June 6, 2011

    Hi Yes I know what you mean, time and inspiration and one has to have the juices flowing and they don’t necessarily just switch on cos one is ready to write eh. You may already know these two Christine Kloser and Lynne Klippel. There have been a mix of speakers on, transformational authors is the focus. Sometimes I get good stuff from them. It is quite new for me to have access to inspirational speakers etc. so I try to listen to something regularly. I am a bit low tonight but I have therapy tomorrow which is great. cheers janey

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2011 by in Creativity & Music.

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