May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

I performed my ‘scars to prove it’ song

A few days ago at my woman’s camp I performed my ‘scars to prove it’ song. I wrote a new ending for it. Here’s the version I performed below. I got a standing ovation. At the intermission two women came and cried in my arms (which was fine and an honour). That night several women came up to offer their support and several survivors came to me, disclosed and thanked me for my song.

Here’s the version I did.

Scars to Prove It

Have you ever wondered
how a child survives a horror?
Do you think children are resilient
or children they forget?

Hiding from yourself, is necessary for survival
Nice girls don’t make a fuss
Nice girls they pretend
they’re safe and loved

30 years or more they’ve been there
evidence of my destruction
proof somebody should have seen
when I was six years old.

30 years or more he’s been
protected by her indecision
by his respectability
people willing to be blind

I’d never looked, never asked
no doctor ever mentioned
perhaps they thought I’d given birth
and never been sewn up
Until one day I asked her, and she showed me with a mirror
“this is very old” she said, healed without a doctor’s care.

They were the scars to prove it, a nightmare seen in daytime
The scars that showed that I’d been making nothing up
Scars seen in the mirror, instead of in my soul
For the first time I could see the story of that little girl.

I’ve got the scars to prove it
because a father owns his daughter
got the scars to prove it
because no-one interfered
I’ve got the scars to prove it, 30 years or more they waited
scars of horror, just where you’d think they’d be.

Scars to prove it. A nightmare really happened.
Scars to prove it, spotted far too late.
Scars to prove it, because nobody would interfere
Scars of horror, just where you think they’d be.

I’d like to say he’s still in jail
I’d like to say he’s paid the price
I’d like to say I never think about those awful days
but I don’t lie about it anymore,
I’ve learned the price that silence
takes upon your soul and

I have the scars to remind me that
my life has to matter
the scars to prove that will never disappear
Scars seen in the mirror, and not just in my soul
Scars of horror, just where you’d think they’d be.

Somewhere there’s a little girl who doesn’t know he’s not allowed
And somewhere a community that needs to make it stop.
And that is why I tell this story
That is why I fight this fight, for her and I and all of us
with

Scars to remind us
our soul was never broken
scars to remind us we are stronger than our wounds
scars seen in the mirror
no longer in our souls
scars to remind us
just where you’d think they’d be.

Scars to prove it
We will know our own self’s measure.
scars to prove that
we never disappeared
scars seen in the mirror
and fading in my soul
scars of honor
just where you’d think they’d be.

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4 comments on “I performed my ‘scars to prove it’ song

  1. butterflysblog
    August 16, 2010

    Sing it sister!!! AMEN.

  2. kate1975
    August 17, 2010

    Wow! How powerful. Great.

    🙂

    Kate

  3. balbrouckan
    August 26, 2010

    Your song is really moving. I like it a lot… except the words “scars of honor” ; they have a warrior meaning, right ? I’m not too much of a warrior myself – so I don’t see much honor in having those scars vs not having them ; but it’s your song !

    • sworddancewarrior
      August 26, 2010

      The honour thing I thought about whether to write it that way, but then I think the scar is about the healing, not the wound or who did that. It’s the healing I’m proud of (emotional healing that is) not the wound.

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This entry was posted on August 15, 2010 by in Sexual Abuse and tagged .

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