May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

A good apology

This song often makes me cry. It’s about the Australian government’s apology to the aboriginal peoples of Australia, but…. imagine it is an apology from the people of your home town, extended family or community for not seeing or helping you when you were abused or for not stopping the sexual offenders they knew were active from hurting children. Imagine a day when people recognize the injustice of shunning incest survivors in all the subtle and overt ways it happens. Imagine allowing this apology to sink in.

I’ve been listening to a self-hypnosis tape on lately every morning before I get up. It gets some positive thoughts in my head and I’ve followed it in my mp3 player with some happy uplifting music. It’s a meditation on confidence and seems to be a good fit for where I get stuck in inaction. I wouldn’t have said I lacked confidence, but this is helping. The guy who recorded it seems to be quite good at what he does. I went to his website to see if he had anything else I might want to buy but got put off by the Tony Robbins style marketing. Ick. However, this recording is very helpful. It’s not the least religious, for those with religious triggers, and he has a pleasant British or perhaps Australian accent. ( I note that the amazon.co.uk description I linked to above warns not to listen to this if you have a ‘nervous psychiatric condition’, I’m wondering if this is some sort of blanket British legal thing about hypnosis. I suppose PTSD is a nervous psychiatric condition, but I don’t see what harm a nice calming positive thought meditation would do.)

Because of the meditation and music, I wake up dancing. That and the rolfing and I’m walking tall these days. I told my therapist I wanted to take a break, and that I’d call her when the old bastard dies, but for now I need to work on practical problem solving around my business and health. For right now, I need to be working on earth (practical) and fire (will creation), not just water (emotion, intuition) and air (thought) to balance my life out.

I’m going to my first singing lesson in awhile today. I’m getting my lung capacity tested this week to help me figure out how to exercise without getting dizzy and nauseous (something my NP says is tied to my vagus nerve and not getting enough oxygen). I’ve been taking my vitamins regularly and dosing myself with a fairly large dose of Omega 3 fatty acids daily, which are good for the brain and anxiety. I feel much more calm and relaxed than usual.

May we all be well and happy (except you know who…)

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One comment on “A good apology

  1. Marie
    June 11, 2010

    I’m so tickled that you are seeing some movement in a positive direction in your life! Your writing has a new lightness to it!

    Keep us posted . . .

    – Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)

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This entry was posted on June 9, 2010 by in Creativity & Music and tagged .

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