May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Incest Survivors, Spirituality and Ceremonies of Justice – the story of a woman living a rich, fulfilling life while waiting to dance on her sociopath father's grave.

What I’ve learned about coming out as an incest survivor (part 1)


I’m trying to write a chapter on coming out as an incest or child sexual assault survivor for the book. There are a lot of reasons to come out, and … Continue reading

January 7, 2014 · 7 Comments

Treatment and healing – chronic vulva inflammatory condition


So I had my follow up visit with the gyne specialist last Friday. Here’s the skinny. I do not have planus lichen (SO glad I went ahead with the biopsy!) … Continue reading

June 12, 2013 · 5 Comments

What not to say to survivors of childhood sexual assault…


Do you have a friend, relative or lover who survived childhood sexual assault? Here’s 6 of the top 10 things not to say or do. 1) Breaking the kvetching order  … Continue reading

May 14, 2013 · 34 Comments

Awesome Sexuality after surviving the worst


I remember despairing of ever having a decent sex life, of ever actually wanting sex, of finding people who wanted me and would be good to me, with whom I … Continue reading

May 13, 2013 · 4 Comments

Grief, when you least expect it


I went out to ‘Trouble with the curve’ tonight with my wife. This story of a relationship between a father and daughter and it’s impact on her life really touched … Continue reading

October 4, 2012 · 6 Comments

Another disappointing response from a relative


I had my aunt visit recently, the one who was also assaulted by my father. When I visited her a couple of years ago, she was very accepting of what … Continue reading

August 20, 2012 · 14 Comments

Pap Test Success for Incest Survivor


I am an amazon! I had a pap test and negotiated for what I needed. Yay me. I went to the drop in clinic today because I have a stomach … Continue reading

June 25, 2012 · 5 Comments

‘Mother’s day’ song for mother complicit in child abuse


I did end up writing a song,. about the hypocrisy of my mother expecting me to celebrate mother’s day, to give her her motherly due, when she was an accessory … Continue reading

August 6, 2011 · 7 Comments

Rape dreams and release


So I had ‘fending off rape dreams’ this morning, three consecutive ones. Not a big surprise, given how angry I’ve been lately. I tend to have ‘monsters/men are hurting me’ … Continue reading

August 6, 2011 · 2 Comments

PTSD Spaciness triggered waiting for letter from mom


So I’ve been extra spacey lately since the news about the impending letter from my mom replying to the one I sent her three years ago. It’s not like I … Continue reading

August 5, 2011 · 8 Comments

Visit with older brother – is the abuser dead yet?


My older brother called me on the weekend and we got together to watch his kid play in a sporting event. All in all it went well. He made an … Continue reading

August 1, 2011 · 1 Comment

Letter from mom on it’s way…


My mom’s sister (who I like) called me this weekend to let me know that my mom has finally written a reply to my letter sent almost three years ago with, … Continue reading

August 1, 2011 · 5 Comments

Survivor reaction after massage


Predictably, I felt vulnerable and emotional most of the week, after even a simple, tiny amount of compassionate work on my strangulation-surviving neck. It felt like pms. I cried easily … Continue reading

July 14, 2011 · 3 Comments

Massage


I had an interesting experience having a massage today. I had a sore hip due to what my chiropractor says is a tight ‘IT band’. The massage therapist was doing various … Continue reading

July 9, 2011 · 4 Comments

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